Detention
by Tweek Tweekers
Summary: A random drabble about a normal detention at South Park. In Kyle's perspective.


Another normal day at South Park High…

Mr. Garrison moved up to teach high school sophomores and now he can bug his on-going class even more. Clyde Donovan sleeping quietly, Bebe Stevens doing her overly done up make-up, Craig Tucker sitting mindlessly and flipping random objects off, Tweek Tweak twitching as usual and gulping large quantities of coffee, Butters Stotch doodling in his notebook, Jimmy Vulmer practicing his new jokes on Token Black, while Token listens unamused, Phillip "Pip" Pirrup is listening contently, Wendy Testaburger and Stan Marsh are passing flirty notes, Kenny McCormick is reading a playboy, not so secretly, Eric Cartman is spit-balling Mr. Garrison but completely missing 'cause he's to uncoordinated due to his supply of fat.

Then of course there's me, Kyle Broflovski, observing my odd class.

"Hey Kyle, snap out of it, the bell rang." said Stan gently nudging my shoulder.

I snapped out of my thoughts and nodded, "Oh yeah."

"Time for yet another el stupido day in Spanish!" Kenny muffled out. Yes even if we are in High School our signature hats shall stay, if not we wouldn't be the same.

"Hola, students. Please take a seat." greeted our teacher, I'm not even going to attempt to pronounce her name.

Class went by slowly and painfully boring. Until a crumpled up piece of paper landed on my desk. I picked it up cautiously and looked around to see who it was from. No one was looking at me, so I just opened it…

**You have the nicest ass in the world.**

"Senior Kyle, Do you have something to share with the class?"

Damn her. I looked up and I guess I had an expression saying 'no, but you can!' because before I could stop her, she ripped it out of my hands and glared at me. "I don't know who you were going to give this to but I have no choice but to give you a detention."

My jaw dropped, "I didn't even write the fucking note!"

"Fine, then I'll give you a detention for using the word 'Fuck' in my class." she smirked, "It's a cuss word, in case you didn't know."

I sighed and sulked into my uncomfortable chair.

School ended quickly, too bad I have to stay because Mrs. Fag-Bitch-Spanish-Teacher couldn't fuck off. I walked into the detention classroom and frowned…

Bebe was of course sitting up front doing her hair, you'd think she do this stuff before school ended. Craig was listening to his I-pod. Damien, who I forgot even went to this school, was muttering some evil ass-master curse. Clyde was sleeping, as always. Christophe was smoking a cigarette and conversing with Gregory, probably planning another crime, I don't know what mercenaries do. And lastly Kenny was drawing a naked girl on his notebook.

"Hey Kenny." I'm lucky I know someone in this room.

"Look what ze cat dragged in." Christophe pointed his cigarette at me.

What a great way to be introduced, "Fuck off Chris." spat Kenny in my defense.

"Eet eesn't often we get a new…" he paused and smirked, "Friend."

"He's right, normally it's the same idiots." added Gregory.

Bebe finally turned to the rest of us. She was chomping on her gum with a look of disgust, "Your head idiots of the group, aren't you?"

"How 'bout you keep your mouth shut, slut!" Gregory spat.

Bebe rolled her eyes, "I'm just saying we shouldn't pick on Kyle. He's lucky he ain't part of this… interesting group."

Craig watched us quietly but didn't say anything. "I wasn't picking on anybody, I was just eenviting ze Jew wiz open arms." he grinned and took a drag of his cigarette.

"Sorry but I'll decline the offer." I sat beside Kenny, "Where's Mr. Garrison anyway? Doesn't he watch the class?"

"You answered your own question, dude." replied Kenny.

"Why would Mr. Garrison waste his afternoon with us?" asked Clyde.

"He wouldn't. He doesn't." answered Craig.

"Then why don't we leave?" these people must be stupid to sit here without anyone making them.

"Mr. Garrison ain't a fan of losing his job."

I turned to look at Bebe, "What?"

"He ain't too stupid. He set up a camera. We don't know where it is but he said if we leave before it's time too that we'd be suspended or worse in-house detention with Mr. Mackey." she rolled her eyes, "I do not need another lecture on staying away from drugs."

"Tell me about it." agreed Craig. "Plus staying here isn't cutting into my busy social time."

"Craig has no friends. All he does is sit at home all day and shove his gerbil up his ass for pleasure." Kenny retorted. You'd think after spending so much time in detention together they'd know Stripe died two years ago.

Everyone laughed except me. "I thought Tweek was his own personal vibrator?" Bebe added in.

"Nah, he just jacks off to Red Racer." added Clyde which erupted more laughter.

He shrugged, "At least I don't bribe chicks with shoes."

Clyde pouted, "That's not the only reason they date me!"

"Oh yes it is." Bebe laughed harshly.

Damien scoffed, "Bebe has her own form of prostitution but she does it for shoes instead of money."

"Shut up!" spat Bebe, "At least I ain't dating some French piece of shit!"

"He's British!" growled Damien.

"He doesn't deny it." said Kenny with a chuckle.

"What ees wrong wiz French people?" asked Christophe in a serious tone.

"They're gay." replied Craig monotone.

"Wasn't it obvious?" asked Bebe with a smirk.

I chuckled, "Is detention always this amusing?"

Kenny shrugged and leaned back on his chair, "You get bored with it after a few days."

"I would think you guys were like friends or something." I suggested but they all turned and glared at me then at each other.

"I would never be caught dead hanging out with these fags!" Bebe spat instantly.

Craig nodded, "Agreed."

Damien growled, "All hell would break lose if we were friends."

"Zese faggotz can't even handle ze stuff we do." Christophe replied referring to him and Gregory.

"Yeah. I'm not a fan of gay sex." replied Clyde. Kenny broke out into laughter and fist bumped him. "Out of everyone here, I wouldn't mind hanging out with Bebe."

Bebe smiled but Craig rolled his eyes, "You also don't mind paying girls for a blow job."

Kenny broke out into more laughter. "So none of you are friends?" I asked again. I always thought they'd get along after spending almost everyday together.

"We're not here by choice." replied Craig.

"Well, I thought- why do you guys always get detentions anyway?"

"I know Bebe gets it for prostitution." Clyde smirked.

"You would know." added Craig.

Clyde glared at him, "Fuck you!"

To which Craig replied with his favorite finger. I rolled my eyes, "For real why are you all in? or why are you all in everyday?"

Damien answered first, "I tend to light people on fire and turn them into platypus'…does that answer the question?"

I nodded and looked over at Bebe. She scoffed, "Oh what? You don't believe them? I'm a prostitute."

I shook my head, "Your not that much of a whore. Even if you try to portray it. Actually have you even had sex before?"

She smiled faintly but then scowled, "None of your business what I've done! But thanks." she smiled again, "I'm only in because I get caught texting in class a lot." she shrugged.

"That's it?"

"Yeah seriously what's the big deal!" she flipped her hair and shrugged again.

"Bebe's not a whore." it took everyone a few minutes to process the information.

I looked at Gregory and Christophe, "You guys?"

Christophe took a drag of a new cigarette, "Um… zey always catch uz…"

Gregory nodded, "Well didn't you hear about Mr. Mackey 'falling' down the stairs."

"Yeah." everyone nodded.

"Well zat waz uz." Christophe smirked evilly.

Bebe nodded, "Okay, remind me to never fuck with the foreign kids."

I nodded, "Okay…"

Kenny nodded too, "How bout you Clyde?"

"Sleeping in class." how self explanatory.

I turned to Craig and cocked a brow. He shrugged, "Profanity. Vandalism."

I turned to Kenny, "I'm guessing it's because of the nude pictures and playboy mags."

Kenny smirked and nodded, "Exactly."

Christophe looked at me, "Now what's a nerd like you doing in 'ere?"

I blinked, "I'm not a nerd."

"Your not exactly cool." stated Clyde smugly.

Bebe shook in a agreement, "I'm not a nerd! I'm normal! Not that anyone in this town would know what normal is!"

Bebe giggled, "Does it matter? My definition of a normal girl is a girl who loves pink, wears girly…maybe slutty…clothes and loves boys!"

"No it doesn't matter because none of us care." said Craig bluntly, "I don't give two shits about any of you guys. We're not friends, simple as that."

"I thought I was your friend." said Clyde confused.

Craig shrugged, "Yeah…"

"So, don't you guys think that if you got along that detentions would go by quicker?" Damn these guys are stupid. They have so much in common. They're all assholes.

"We have nothing in common." stated Gregory.

Bebe nodded, "Yeah."

"Your all dicks?" I suggested.

Craig thought for a second, "We kind of are dicks…"

"Put us all together and you got the toughest and meanest group." said Damien with a smirk, his eyes glew red with joy.

"Yeah."

The bell rang and dismissed detention.

Bebe smiled, "Maybe we could be friends."

The next day at school…

"How was detention?" asked Stan.

I shrugged and threw some books in my locker, "Not bad I guess."

"Really?"

"Get out of my fucking way." I turned and saw none other than Craig with a new crew. The detention crew. Behind Craig was Clyde with his arm wrapped around Bebe, Damien who was tossing random things around with his mind powers, Christophe smoking a cigarette and Gregory trying to be intimidating.

"Looks like there's a new clique." said Wendy who stood beside Stan.

"Yeah. The dicks." said Kenny.

"Huh?" I turned to him.

Kenny looked at me, "You created a new clique. All of the detention kids formed together to become the ultimate dicks."

Bebe was eating a lollipop and she wrapped her arms around my back, "Thanks for forming such an amazing crew, baby."

I nudged her off, "What?"

"Detention is going to FLY by." she giggled, "You'll be joining us, won't you?"

"What? No!"

"Aw, I thought maybe you'd fit in somewhere once in your life." she shrugged and popped her lollipop back into her mouth, "Bye, Baby."

I watched at 'the dicks' walked down the hall, just another group I won't fit in…why isn't anyone normal?

* * *

I was bored and this really had no point but none of my stories ever have points, so this is normal haahaha :)


End file.
